Third String Quarterback

Sports from the point view from the guy that holds the clipboard for the guy that holds the clipboard.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Kill the Kickers

I don't know if you are aware, but the NFL is waging a War on Kickers. And even though I don't like it, I like even less the half-assed nature of the war.

I propose eliminating Place Kickers and Punters from the rosters. In their place I suggest a simple rule change. A person who is going to kick the ball must have been on the field during the last play from scrimmage. Obviously this would include any kickoffs that happened since the last play from scrimmage. In the case of a Kick-off return for a TD, the team could pick to kick the PAT any player from the kickoff that was run back or any player from the scoring play that triggered the Kickoff. On First and Second half kickoffs, the kicking team can pick any player on their team.

The stupid new Overtime Rules, which I will not rest until they are destroyed, were a direct attack on Place Kickers and their ever increasing accuracy and distance. The stats do not reflect that a coin-flip was giving enough of an advantage to warrant a rules change. Properly measured less than1/3 of overtime games were ending on the first drive by the team that won the coin toss. Read that piece I linked to, and see the 30% sited includes games that ended via touchdown! So games that end via FG on the first touch of the ball are even less than that! Meaning it's not at all a problem worth changing rules to fix! /rant

The moving of the Kick-offs from the 30 yard-line to the 35 was less about player safety and more just accepting the inevitable touchbacks. They could have done what they always did and move the kickoffs back 5 yards to balance off the improved kickers. But the NFL hates it's place kickers so instead of giving them a new standard to shoot for, they punish them and make them less relevant.

If the NFL hates kickers, then just get rid of them. It fixes the problem, gives you two extra roster spots. Gives more players a chance to make the team with a special teams skill. It makes the coaches think harder about substitutions, and will take a cut into all these insane specialty packages teams use. You'll want to make sure you have a guy on the field at all times that can make an extra point!

However for me the real upside to this plan, above and beyond the restoration of Sudden Death Overtime, is on Fantasy Football! Think of the back-up WR or S that suddenly gives you the potential for points by kicking Field Goals and Extra Points? That adds some strategy and removes some luck for the game.

Let's Kill the Kickers and bring some fun back to Football!

Thanks for reading,
-Pip

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Steroids Hall of Fame: Home

Where should the Steroids Hall of Fame be physically located, if it were to exist?  Someday we'll build one, let's pretend we can and pick a suitable home.  I want your ideas.  I'll list the ones I can come up with, you suggest yours, and then we'll vote on it.


  • BALCO's old office 1520 Gilbreth Rd  Burlingame CA, 94010 - 1605  
  • Jose Canseco's hometown, Miami Fla
  • Barry Bond's hometown, San Carlos, CA
  • Lyle Alzado's hometown,  Cedarhurst, Long Island
  • Bud Selig's hometown, Milwaukee, WI
  • Biogenisis' old office 1390 S Dixie Hwy #1101, Coral Gables, FL 33143

The Hall can have Busts, induction ceremonies for those that are kept out of their sports' Hall of Fame. We can have all sorts of drug base exhibits. Imagine the Doping Wing, the Needle Wing, The Cream Wing, The disgraced Olympian wing, the Suspected but Never Proved Wing! 

Yes, we need to make this happen. Let's get the Kickstarter going!

Thanks for Reading,
-Pip

PS- Would you like me to keep going with the Steroids Hall of Fame series? cover Lance, and A-Rod and other cheating assholes in the future?

Monday, September 9, 2013

Monday Night Football: Shame Night

We need a one night charity event where we have take the worst people from Monday Night Football broadcasting history and put them together.

OJ Simpson
Dennis Miller
Tony Kornheiser

With Eric Dickerson on the sidelines and Emmit Smith at the Half.

People can donate per Brett Favre reference, pleas of innocence, invented words, mispronounced words, jokes that went over their heads, plays missed, and just flat out WTF moments.  We could raise millions for charity.

Think of the Promo's!
One Night Only: The Juice is Loose!
What's worse than Lebetard on PTI? Kornheiser on MNF!
What you talkin 'bout Eric?
What you talkin 'bout Emmit?
What you talkin 'bout Dennis?

It would give the NFL an excuse to put the Browns on Monday night, because there can never be enough comedy.

And then to top it all off, you can do one of the celebrity guest interview that completely interrupt and ignore the game!  Who will our guest be?  John Madden!

You know you'd watch!

Thanks for reading,
-Pip

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Tweeting Back Sunday '13: Week 1

Here we go guys. We are going to organize ourselves and use hashtags properly to take over twitter the way the NFL should on Sundays!

First let's deal with game hastags. Drop the "vs" and use the road team first. Tell you don't want to save those 2 characters.

#NEBuf
#MiaCle
#SeaCle
#CinChi
#MinDet
#OakInd
#KCJax
#AtlNO
#TBNYJ
#TenPit
#GBSF
#AzStL
#NYGDal

And for Monday Night's Games:
#PhiWas
#HouSD

For in game action we can use:
#NFL
#Cheerleader
#INT
#Fumble
#Holding
#TD
#Fumble
#Sack
#FG
#OT
#Review
#PI (pass interference)
#FirstDown
#Overturned
#ReturnTD

What I really want is for the game hashtags to become standard use, and for there to be at least one NFL game related trending topic. We can do this!


Thanks for reading,
-Pip


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Monday Night Miracles for 2012

It started on November 15th, 2004. A Monday night game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys. I was working retail at the time and was working that night.  I needed a ridiculous amount of point between Donovan McNabb and the Eagles Defense.  I did my math, poorly, and figured I needed 4 TD's from McNabb and the Eagles D to shut out Dallas.

I got home from work and was shocked at the score. 49-21! McNabb got me my 4 TD's and the Eagles D scored a TD on an INT return. This gave me a disgustingly close victory of less than a point.

On that day a gag was born. The Monday Night Miracles.  Each Sunday night (late) or Monady morning, I will look at my fantasy football scores and calculate, obsessively and accurately, what I need to happen, or to not happen, for me to win.  I am guilty of occasionally taking more time to do this than I did setting my rosters.

Typically this conversational gag would take place on the message board where I met everyone I was playing fantasy football with at the time. Well most of us don't hang out there anymore and I have had no success in getting this going elsewhere.  I have not stopped trying because this is my baby and something I cannot stop doing.  Those that get it send me emails, tweets, and fb comments. They play, they get it. They want the prayers and good thoughts of their fellow fantasy sports junkies to help them win.

I ask for your help this season. Comment here EACH WEEK or send me a tweet @pipsbadideas, an email a smoke signal, or any other type of communication you desire. I've tried Reddit and may try there again. Tag or title it #MNM or Monday Night Miracles. Any variation of those 2 will be found by me.

Share your needs and your brothers and sisters in fantasy football shall pray for you.

Thanks for reading,
-Pip

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Tweeting back Sunday, revisited

Everyweek of every NFL season I am disappointed by the lack of organization of NFL fans on twitter and the resulting lack of trending topics from NFL games. So let's get our hashtags straight and take over twitter.

We start with game tags. Each game has it's own tag so we know which game is being talked about the most. The format is easy, road team's 3 letter abbreviation followed by the home team's. The list for week 1:
#CINCLE
#ATLCHI
#BUFKC
#PHISTL
#DETTB
#TENJAX
#PITBAL
#INDHOU
#CARAZ
#MINSD
#SEASD
#NYGWSH

For game action we can use:
#NFL
#Cheerleader
#INT
#Fumble
#Holding
#TD
#Fumble
#Sack
#GusJohnsonBigPlayOragasm
#FG
#OT
#Overturned
#ReturnTD

All I want is for the game hashtags to become standard use, and for there to be at least one NFL game related trending topic. I think we can make this happen.


Thanks for reading,
-Pip

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

BCS Defender: Gloats

Yes, I am going to gloat.  I am going to wallow in the joy that my argument is gaining traction and that the points I have been making are sound and rational.

It started with St Mary's, my new favorite college basketball team not named Duke.

"Go to BCS. Go to something where there's a standardized number how you figure out who's in, who's not," Bennett said

This warms my heart. Take that 10 people locked in a backroom with no accountability!

And then my local boys over at NESN start really looking at it seriously.

It may seem like a crazy suggestion, but wouldn't a BCS-like ranking system combining human and computer polls do the best job of seeding? The flaw with the BCS as it pertains to college football, generally, isn't how the system ranks the teams, but the fact that only the top two are included. The rankings, in truth, seem pretty fair, and -- most importantly -- we know how they work. They aren't the concoction of some "committee" evaluating the teams in a short period of time.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*   We have a winner folks.  The best and worst of both systems summed up in one short paragraph.  The tide has turned, and I was sitting at the harbor waiting for everyone's thought processes to come to port.  Welcome my friends.  Now we can have some real honest discussions.

I am opposed any type of one style fits all system.  Basketball, Football, and whatever else we may talk about, are different sports and should be looked at differently.  Especially when you look at number of games in a season.  But each system has it's strengths and weaknesses.

Maybe we see the NCAA tournament adopt a system where they pick the enterants, the #1 seeds, then a computer ranks the rest and they can swap schools around per the guidelines (up or down 1 seed, teams in same conference seperated, etc...).  Computers and humans working together!

I'll say it again, because more people need to read it, One system is open, one is closed.  One is accountable, one is not.  One has all the information laid out, the other has backroom deals.  Neither is perfect, but maybe people can start to accept that the BCS has it's validity and the NCAA Tournament is at least as flawed as any system.

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