Sports from the point view from the guy that holds the clipboard for the guy that holds the clipboard.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

MM09: Eight of Hate

The Editor (wife) suggested that I use the Evil Eight after I decided to use Suck 16. I liked it, but instantly thought of Ego Eight and realized that it sucked.  So sitting here this Sunday morning my brain came up with the genius that I went with:

Mock Madness 2009: The Eight of Hate.

One really big upset that was a sole function of my getting a plug from the nice folks over at Bleeding Green.  A Philadelphia Eagles blog.  Can you guess the upset?  I was too sick this week to try and find a baseball blog to balance things out.  I'll say what I did after Coach K was upset:  If you don't like the results, vote, and get your friends to vote.  Results.

(1)Bill Belichick vs Drew Rosenhaus
Yes, Boras went down.  This was the upset I was speaking of.  What can I say?  People in Philly hold grudges, and I can't blame them in this case.  No such bias will sway Drew over Bill though.  No way at all.
bill sf  and I could not find a place to steal from for Drew so I remade one from memory.  I know it's out there I just could not find it.


Barry Bonds vs Pacman
A clash of titans.  Titanic assholes.  Big giant head up the ass off.   Regardless of their egos, their arrogance and their stupidity is the fact that both men still think people want to see them play.  That is something else altogether.  I cannot think of a word to describe that level of disconnect from reality.  Honestly, the words we have for that just are not strong enough.
Pacman sf

Michael Vick vs Clay Bennett
Looks like the puppy killer is on an unstoppable roll.  I doubt the breaker of an entire city's heart can stand in his way.  But I do encourage Seattle's Latte filled rage to be aimed this way.  Clay beat Kobe out by one single vote.  
Vick sf
Roger Clemens vs (2)Terrell Owens
Four battles and two real toss-ups.  Rocket Roger against the lover of quarterbacks.  The tale of the tape on these two is enough for 3 Bill Simmons columns, and I'm no Bill Simmons.  (I'm shooting for a poor man's Charlie Pierce actually)  I am not that wordy, that full of pop culture refences, nor do I have the readership with which to draw upon their emails.  I do have demotivational posters though! 
Clemens sf 
TO sf

*whew*  We'll be down to the final four after Saturday!  And what a foursome it will be.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Mock Madness '09: Most Hated's Suck 16

First off, a big thank you to With Leather for the link!  All I can do is say thanks and send over the three people, not including my wife, who read my blog that haven't been sent here by them.

Wow, did we get some upsets and some close calls.  I'll admit that maybe me seeding was a bit off.  Alright, way off.  I really thought some of these people were irrelevant and I nearly left them off my field altogether.   And I did get one of my dream Suck 16 match-ups.  Results posted on that lame site I've been using, because I can be lazy.  Let's get on with it.

(1)Bill Belichick vs Al Davis
Some may call this a passing of the torch, from one generation of Evil to the next.  Each has won three superbowls, each is mad in their own way.  One is past his prime, which makes him crazier and thus more hateable.  The other is listed as a cheater and will wear a hoodie of shame for the rest of his career.   This one has all the great dynamics in play: Young vs Old,  East Coast vs West Coast, Plain old dirty vs High Tech cheating.   I think the outcome is a foregone conclusion, but it's nice that BB has to crush Davis on his path to the title.

Drew Rosenhaus vs (2)Scott Boras
Battle of the sport destroying super agents!  One of my dream suck 16 matchups.  The only one that came to pass.  Again this may seem like a done deal, but let's look Drew's case for a moment.  He talked a young up and coming buffalo team into signing one of the most polarizing and chemistry destructive players in the history of the NFL.    And Scott has gotten his comeuppance this offseason.  He cost Jason Varitek at least $5M by turning down salary arbitration with the Red Sox, and the whole Manny debacle was actually funny.  Watching Drew's "bid against yourself" magic trick backfire was great.  He's obviously lost his touch.  But really, who am I kidding here?

Barry Bonds vs Stephon Marbury
Two men who's ego's define their entire lives.  Both hurt their careers and their legacies with their actions.  Both men were actually great players.  One cheated and the other is just a damn fool for not wanting to play under D'antoni's offense.   Starbury at least occasionally thinks of the children, while thinking of himself in the process.  The other blew his trip to cooperstown and STILL just can't admit that he took steroids.  Learning lessons from the mistakes of Pete Rose, you're doing it wrong!

Pacman vs (2)Matt Millen
What's the difference between Pacman and Matt Millen?  1.   What?  You aren't here for the lame puns?  My bad.  Anyway this is an interesting battle.  Both men are obviously over-rated, yet both were employed at the start of last season anyway.   Good news is that both are done hurting teams.  Bad news is that one is not done with strip clubs, and the other is not done annoying us on TV.

Michael Vick vs Isiah Thomas
I may be completely wrong about Vick.  Until I started talking to people about it recently I was convinced that someone would pick him up.  I figured decent QB's were too valuable and rare, and I also figured that I've seen every manner of criminal get a second chance in sports, see above.   Isiah however is still a juggernaut of both incompetence and arrogance.

Clay Bennett vs (2)Kobe Bryant
Kobe very nearly went down to Schilling, and Clay destroyed J-Roll, so could we have another big upset?  Truly, we should  Clay is a pure villain.  And Kobe actually does have things that make him tolerable.  He can play very well and his arrogance does not detract from his game.  He may be a Me First Ballhog, but he does love the game.  Still he's Kobe.  This is harder choice than I originally thought it would be.

Jason Giambi vs Roger Clemens
Throw in Pettit and Gay-roid, and we could have a final four of Yankee Steroid users!  Way to live up to the legacy of Joe Dimaggio and Lou Gehrig!   I'm putting my money on cinderella porn stache here.  I mean if only he were younger (say 15...) Clemens would be all over him.  Who looks better in pinstripes?  Who's roid rage is stronger?   Let me just toss in one very biasing reminder, Clemens injected his wife with steroids.

Bud Selig vs (2)Terrell Owens
We close out the Suck 16 with a clash of Titans.  Two giants of screwing things up.  Two men who get forgiven and forgiven despite all their misdeeds.  How either of these men is still employed is beyond all manner of comprehension.  There has to be someone the Dollar Store wouldn't even hire that could do either of their jobs either more effectively or with less controversy.  Did I mention that while I was unemployed last year I got rejected by the Dollar Store?  I'm just saying.

*Whew* that was difficult. We have definitely reach Major Asshole territory.  I have fixed the polls.  To see results go back to the round 2 page.

Edited due to horrible image placement.

BCS Defender: BCS vs March Madness

Tonight pre-season college basketball ends and on Thursday the real season begins!  I know that is a completely cynical statement, but judging by America's reaction that is exactly what has happened.  Maybe some fans realize college basketball starts when the conference tournaments do, and others are really good and see it starting right after the Bowl Games end.  But for most of America, college basketball does not start until Thursday.  It may suck, but it is also very true.  Tonight we will have people arguing about seeding without even watching half the teams they are arguing about play.  Compare that to the hated BCS.  How many games have people seen that are involved in the arguments they are having over who belongs?   Admit it, people actually care about and watch the College football regular season, but do not for College basketball.  When they argue about who's in and who's out they are arguing only about the best teams and they are talking about games they actually saw.  That is a better situation.

The BCS is better than March Madness.  The BCS does not reward mediocrity.  It has maintains a meaningful regular season.  It's selection methods are transparent and open to public scrutiny.  It is more honest and fair than March Madness.  And lastly it does not encourage gambling.

Before you start flaming me, please remember that I still mean everything I said, when I wrote this other piece last year.  I love the tourney as much as anyone and have since I was 12.  The points I made there still hold.  It's just that no one wants to ever look at the other side of the coin.  I have that courage, do you?  If not, stop reading.

Mediocrity: I name thee Boston College.  They lost to Harvard.  But because they beat Duke and UNC they are in the tournament.  Tell me why they deserve a title shot.  Tell me they are going to win even one game.  Tell me rewarding mediocrity like BC is better than trying to figure out who is actually the best team.  Why are they in?  Cannon fodder.  To make sure that the "pure" 6 game winning streak you need to win the title remains intact.  What did they do to deserve an equal chance at winning a title as Pitt,  Uconn, UNC, Oklahoma, or the other top teams this year?  In college football beating two top ranked teams in one season means you ruined two seasons.  Major upsets that stop title dreams in their tracts.  In a bizarro world where Duke and UNC are football powers and BC sucks, those two wins would be the story in college football.  It would be like Mississippi State taking out Florida and LSU.  It would blow away the Appalachian St victory over Michigan.  It would be something those players would never forget.  Something fans would never forget.  Let's go back to Appalachian St. and ask this question five years from now "Which story was better in '07/'08  App St beating Michigan, or Davidson's run in the Tournament?"  I bet more people will remember the regular season upset.  What is better a system that rewards only the best of the best, or one that rewards mediocrity?    Do you know what we call a system the rewards mediocrity instead of performance?  Communism.

Transparency:  How is the BCS chosen?  Their website tells you.  Everyone can look at it figure out on their own how each team qualifies.  Yes even the computer polls publish their formula and the pollsters finals votes are made public. And then the Bowls slot the teams amongst themselves based upon those teams that qualify.  How does the Tournament decide who plays?  A ten man selection committee that gets to do almost whatever they want.  And guess who they end up giving the vast majority of open bids to?  They give them to the big conferences.  But the issue is transparency.  BCS has it, while March Madness locks people up behind closed doors, in a back room secret ceremony.  Which is better?  When people were upset about Utah this year I was able to tell them that in their dream 8 seed tournament Utah would have been left out.  How did I know this?  By looking at the BCS selection page and applying their rules, I saw that Utah was the 9th team placed into a BCS game.   Meanwhile if you have a question about the seeding of March Madness, tough luck.  You will get no answers.  Sure there will be a press conference, but it will look very Bush-esque as far as real answers to hard questions go.  Which system is more open? Which has something to hide?

Further the BCS allows itself to be open to criticism.  They could do the closed door thing and point to Basketball.  But they don't.  They are open and people rip apart the system because the information is on their website for anyone to read.   This is a better way of doing things.  This is American.  Not hiding but allowing people to criticize.

Honesty:  The Cinderella is the biggest lie in all of sports.  Stop right now.  Go search the web, and see which Cinderellas have won the tournament.  Then look at what conferences they come from.  Oh, NONE of them have come from outside the big 6.  Next, if we list ALL champions going back to 1966, you get three teams from non-major conferences winning it all.  UNLV, Lousiville and Marquette.  Two of those are now in a major conference.  Let's look at final fours then.  Two #11 seeds.  Elite eight?  Eight teams seeded between 10-12, including the two Final Four teams.  Wow, what a fair system that gives real chances to win a title to small conferences.  The thing no one mentions is that the size of the tournament and the stacked deck  toward the big 6 make it impossible for any but a large conference school to win.  The truth is that a playoff is an excuse to give more chances to the elite.  They recently expanded the field from 64 to 65.  Who plays in that game?   Do they take 2 bubble teams?  No, they take two teams that won their conference and make them play an extra game to see who will lose on Thursday to the best team in the nation.  That is more fair than the BCS?  Cinderella is a lie.  She never leaves with the Prince, but believe me, she does get screwed by him.

Gambling:  There is more money to be made gambling on an easily understood fixed seed single elimination tournament than there is any other way to settle a championship.  That is probably the worst thing about March Madness, is how much it thrives on gambling.  How much money to you gamble on that office pool? $1, $5, or $10?  All innocent enough amounts.  How much do you gamble on the BCS?   Nothing.  This is not cynicism, this is reality.  Don't believe me, then don't fill out a bracket this year.  I dare you.  Watch the tourney, but don't fill out a bracket.  You cannot do it.  And if people tried, March Madness would suffer as a result.

Slippery Slope:  Every single tournament set up by the NCAA has expanded it's field.  If we set up that perfect 8-team field for college football, do you know what will happen?  Within 10 years we'll be at 16, and within 20 we'll be at 24.  This is based upon the fact that every single tournament set up by the NCAA has expanded it's field.  Yes the slippery slope is an assumption based argument that should be avoided.  But here it fits. This is not spin, this is not stretching the truth, this is again, reality.  You might not like it, just like you did not like the gambling issue, but it is just as true.

Life isn't fair.  Yet the most heard argument against the BCS is "But Mommy, that's not fair!"   Sadly it is the most fair system we can come up with.  Everyone takes their turn getting screwed.  Utah has a gripe?  Talk to Auburn.  Big and small suffer alike.  And in fact more big conference schools have gotten screwed with perfect regular seasons ending with no title.  Life isn't fair, and it is cruel, but with the BCS, everyone has the same chance to get shafted.  Can we at least give credit to that definition of fair.  It is ugly, and imperfect, but it has value.

So there you have it.  The most beloved annual sporting event on America's calendar has lessons to learn from the most criticized.  Have I gotten you at least that far with my arguments?  Because if we can agree there. then there is hope that we can make both things better.  But I still sit here before you with the claim The BCS is better than March Madness.  I love them both, and can see the upside and downside in both.  However, if forced to choose I'll take the method that is open, honest, fair, preserves the regular season, rewards only the best teams, and does not openly encourage gambling.  I'll take the BCS.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

MM09: Most Hated Round 2

We had a #1 seed go down in the first round.  This will piss some of you off.  All I can say is that if you don't like the result vote and get your friends to vote.  Breakdown of the results over at PBI later today.  Here is how the bracket looks now.  Again, you have one week.  I will close this down on Saturday March 14.

(1)Bill Belichick vs Jeremy Shockey
BB has nothing to fear from Shockey's bad tatts.

Jerry Jones vs Al Davis
The ghost of crazy owner Future meet the ghost of crazy owner Past.  Who's nuttier?  Right now JJ looks like he got hit with a brain.  Dumping Roy, Pacman, and TO all in the same off season.  It's almost like he's swallowing his ego in a real attempt to win.  Meanwhile, Al is Al.  Maybe if he sparkled like a modern vampire people would like him more.

Nick Saban vs Drew Rosenhaus
Wow, this is an interesting match-up.  Drew's hate stock is falling a bit, but will bounce back once the salary cap ends.  While Nick's hate stock is falling due to the fact that's he's stayed put for a full calendar year.  I just think this will be the last win for either of them in this tournament.

Derek Jeter vs (2)Scott Boras

What we have here is our first Heavyweight bought of the second round.  Things start getting very difficult from here on in kids.   You cannot go wrong with either of these men.  While Scott is truly evil, I would not be surprised if Jeter scored an upset.  I will not judge you, there is no wrong answer to this one.

(1)Brett Favre vs Barry Bonds
Did someone mention Heavyweights?  This could be a final.  I could write 500 words on these two alone.  Funny how both their careers are done, yet neither can give up their addiction to attention.

Stephon Marbury vs Ron Artest
Two of the NBA's problem children.  Both more famous for things other than how well they can play basketball, and sadly they are both very good basketball players.  If we could get them to focus on playing the game they would be two of the best in the game.  But they are here because of their Ego First mentality.  Thug Life!  So sad.  I hate Starbury, because he ruined my dream face off between Brett Favre and Peter King.  King would go down on, I mean to Favre.  Yeah, I just wanted to make that joke.

A.J. Pierzynski vs Pacman
A-hole on A-hole violence!  Neither of these men has any redeeming aspect to their personality.  And if I keep talking about how good/difficult these second round clashes are I'll have nothing to say in two weeks.  But this is a good one.

Tim Tebow vs (2)Matt Millen
Another upset special?  Or can Millen show how dominant he really is?  For me this is a no brainer, but I don't think that is a majority opinion.  In tribute to my crazy friend we'll call this the Marvel Match-up, because of the alliterative names involved.

(1)Alex Rodriguez vs Michael Vick
Gay-roid against the puppy killer.  Oh my!  My loyalties make this easy for me, I kicked a puppy once.  I'll tell that tale another day, just know, he asked for it.  Not as much as his owner, but had you been there, you would not have been mad at my actions.  But you can make a compelling case that murder is worse than taking steroids.

Isiah Thomas vs Plaxico Buress
Speaking of we have the man that murdered a franchise, and another that murdered his career. "Shot through the thigh and you're so lame.  You give the Giants a bad name!"  Thank you, I wrote that all by myself.  Try to get that out of your head.  Isiah has the double advantage of being a sexually harassing pervert as well as being an excellent franchise killer.

Jimmy Rollins vs Clay Bennett
I hate Jimmy Rollins.  Because he knocked out Kurt Warner and I cannot fathom that at all.  So F-you J-Roll!  Clay you get off easy by being just a thief.

Curt Schilling vs (2)Kobe Bryant
Things are getting harder for our seeded players.  Kobe is up against the man that won't stop raping the ears of Boston sports fans.  I know, you like Curt for this because you think we deserve it.

Jason Giambi vs Joey Porter
Cinderella has a name and that name is Porn Stache Giambi.  Wow he looks hot in those glass slippers.  How does he ever get his steroid filled feet into them?  *barf*  Anyway the man that took out Coach K can easily handle the Mouth of the South Joey Porter.  Even Steelers fans don't miss him.

Roger Clemens vs Manny Ramirez
Red Sox fans have a tough choice here.  Heck the only thing harder would be if we threw in Nomar and Damon.  But we'll let it stand as is, too giants of the game, with egos to match.  Neither really worried about what other people think.  One is juicing up and the other is goofing off.  I'll admit, I'm a Manny guy, and Roger broke my heart too many times.  Roger was the first athlete poster that went up on my bedroom wall as a kid.

Tony Stewart vs Bud Selig
These two spoiled a Tom Brady / Peyton Manning show-down.  Tom would have beat him, yet again.  But the point is moot.  Instead we are left with a high quality consolation match.  NASCAR's biggest prick against the man that ruined baseball.

Tyrone Willingham vs (2)Terrell Owens
Congrats to Ty for finally winning something.  Poor Rod Martinelli, he can't even win at being hated.  Anyway, it looks like Ty will go back to his losing ways because there is no way he upsets the Pride of the Buffalo Bills!  Let's see: He hated Garcia, hated McNabb, loved Romo, so I think Edwards is in good shape.  Why? because he sucks so therefore he won't overshadow TO and peace will reign in western New York.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Mock Madness 2009: Most Hated Sports Figure

Alright Take 2 at Mock Madness.  Last year I had you choose the joke method I would use to pick my Bracket.  This year we get a bit more serious.  Not too serious.  Voting ends Saturday night March 7th.

Go look at the bracket.    Most Hated Person in Sports

Most Hated Sports Figure.

Ty Cobb Region:
Bill Belichick vs Matt Iaconelli
BB does not need to play dirty to beat the fisherman, but that does not mean he won't.  Look, even a Patriots fan can admit how much people hate this man.  I disagree with the reasons, and think you are all jealous but I cannot argue about how passionate your jealousy is.

AI vs Jeremy Shockey
Tacky Tattoo Takedown.  Shockey had big advantages in height and weight, but honestly AI has about 10x the heart of the Loser Shockey.   It all comes down to which you hate more Cry-Babies or those that don't Practice.

Larry Brown vs Jerry Jones
Old White and Overrated vs Old White and Richer than God.
I hate Larry Brown because he has no loyalty.  He's always looking for his next coaching gig.  And Jerry Jones, he's hated as being one of the 5 dumbest people associated with the NFL  (Peter King, Al Davis, Dan Snyder, and John Madden round out that list.)

Bruce Bowen vs Al Davis
I think this is a no brainer.  Bruce is dirty as hell, but Al Davis is Al Davis.  He's a vampire, a lunatic, an idiot, and a madman all rolled into one.

Nick Saban vs Manu Ginobli
The Traitor vs The Flopper  Measure their sins carefully, one is just looking out for his family and the other ius willing to humilate himself to benefit his team.  HA!  Loyal as a rattle snake or cheater, which is worse.

Drew Rosenhaus vs Kurt Busch
There is no wrong answer here, one is pure evil and the other drives in circles.

Ray Lewis vs Derek Jeter  
Two heavy hitters in this battle.  The Passion of the Ray (with a knife) compared to the Smuggest of the Smug, epitome of every evil about the Evil Empire.  Again, we have no wrong answer.

Scott Boras vs Eugene Morris
You don't need to be a Baseball fan to hate Scott, and you don't need to be a Pats fan to hate Mercury Morris.  Both have done unreparable damge, one to the national pastime and the other to the legacy of an undefeated football team for which he was the third string RB.  3rd string RB...hmmm...maybe I misnamed my blog.

Claude Lemieux Region:

Brett Favre vs Lleyton Hewitt
Yeah the tennis player is cannon fodder whether or not Brett is truly retired.

Barry Bonds vs Rodney Harrison
Barry is on here, because he is just on the edge of relevancy, but he's not ranked because he hasn't played in a couple of years.  He's matched up against the Dirtiest Player in the NFL.  An tough first round battle, but that's the way a draw works.

Peter King v Starbury
Another good first round battle.  The minor goat of the Knicks, vs the big fat no-nothing loudmouth of the NFL.  I swear this guy knows nothing but Brett's cell phone number.  He ruined Inside the NFL, and he ruined SI.  I am a bit biased here, as with the Favre match up, but to be fair Marbury is the guy dumb enough not to make things work with D'Anonti,  Seriously, Marbury in that offense would be epic WIN-WIN, but he's so selfish he doesn't know what's really in his best interest.  Guess he wants a ring as a back-up over re-creating his reputation and leading the Knicks back to relevancy.  No winner in this battle.

Joe Morgan vs Ron Artest
Baseball's worst announcer against one of the most over rated Basketball players ever.  And that's a long list to be near the top of!   Sometimes an HOFer needs to shut up and go back to cooperstown, and sometimes a man needs to know when to stay home at night.

Chad Johnson vs A.J. Pierzynski
Chad is one of those guys that I think is just having fun.  I understand that this is a minority opinion which is why he is here.   Pierzynski however has no minority opinion that he is just having fun.  None what so ever.  Oh some people do like him, but they don't think he's having fun.

Adam Jones vs Sean Avery     The Faux Machismo Heavy Weight Title!
How do I maintain a PG-13 rating when talking about this match-up?  I can't.  Stripclubs vs Sloppy Seconds Ladies I ask you which one is less offensive?  I mean you can't fault a guy for being a perv, but there are such things as reasonable limits.  Like not every night and not thinking you own forever every woman you've ever had sex with.

Tim Tebow vs Rasheed Wallace
The Hype vs The Technical Foul  Tim Tebow can do all sorts of crazy things, but can he chill 'Sheed out?  Normally I love passion, but Wallace takes it too far.  You've got to be Bird-like.  When you angry, you kill the other team with your play.  LeBron does this better than anyone right now.  Rasheed's anger serves as a distraction.  Yeha he's gotten better, but it's still an issue.  And with Detroit no longer being one of the top teams I think we'll start seeing some of the old 'Sheed. Tim Tebow loooooooooooovres some Jesus, while I have no issue with the big JC myself, his followers tend to annoy the hell out of me.  Tim bucks this trend by not being nearly as annoying as most (Kurt Warner) and by backing it up (missionary work is hard work and I do respect that).  I also think Tim can make it as a QB in the NFL, IF he can learn to become a throw first scrambling QB.  He needs to try to be the next Donovan McNabb, minus the injuries.

(2)Matt Millen vs Chris Chelios
Do I need to explain why Matt Millen is here?  I do however know that I need to tell you why he is a 2 seed. The A-rod story broke.  It is that simple.  Chris Chelios is in the Sacrificial lamb position due to his Legacy, that and I was not going to allow Claude's un-retirement to ruin my hard work.  I could have swapped them easy but it is what it is and Millen will do what his Lions could not.

Neon Deion Region:
(1)Alex Rodriguez vs Bonzi Wells
Again, cannon fodder.  No way was I going to put anyone even closely relevant here.

Phil Jackson vs Michael Vick
This one seems like a no brainer.  I mean there is nothing special about the hate toward Phil Jackson, he's basically your arrogant successful coach.  Vick killed puppies.  PUPPIES!  Still Jackson is an overrated smug prick.  That does go a long way.

Isiah Thomas  vs Rich Rodriguez
I know Isiah is not relevant, but man his tenure was less than a year past and it was epic.  If I were a Knicks fan I would want him involved.  Rich's past is also only a year ago, but his is still in the courts.  Stupidity vs Greed, a classic showdown of things we hate.

Ozzie Guillen vs Plaxico Buress
A-hole vs Thigh-hole.  Get it?  He shot himself in the thigh.  I am so funny, and very wrong.  Again with the arrogant coach, we really don't dig that in the sports world, unless it's our team's coach.  Buress, man poor guy has so much talent and is such a good player, yet again STUPID.  We also do not like stupid players, again, unless they are on our team.

Kurt Warner vs Jimmy Rollins
Obnoxious overrated geezer against the arrogant, but right, young stud.  I think that's why Rollins is here, because he was right.  We dislike arrogance, but when that gets backed up it is infuriating!  Almost as infuriating as when the word Jesus is used 10 times a minute by someone that should not even be playing professional sports.

Eli Manning vs Clay Bennett
Eli is no longer the over looked younger brother of Peyton.  He won his own Super Bowl and without it no one would even care about Eli.  But I bet there are some Cowboys fans whose hate is based solely on being jealous of having a QB that can win important games.  Clay Bennett, who is he you may ask?  He's the lying a-hole that stole the SuperSonics from Seattle to move them to the urban mecca that is Oklahoma City.   Believe mje, if you are from Seattle, you hate Clay.

Curt Schilling vs Hines Ward
I justify Schilling here, not just because of my personal bias, but because the loudmouth just won't ever shut up!  You are done playing, stop talking for a minute!  Oh, that's right his ego won't let him.  He thinks anyone ever cared what he has to say.  I can only imagine the hell that must be his poor wife's life.  I beat she went deaf 5 years ago and decided not to tell anybody about it.  Hines Ward is the dirtiest offensive player that is not a lineman.  The guy owns the middle of the filed because of the cheap shots and late hits he gives.  If it weren't for their obnoxious fans, Hines Ward alone would be enough to for me to hate the Steelers.

(2)Kobe Bryant vs Jeff Reed
Kobe has more reasons to hate him than almost anyone.  It was a toss up between him and Coach K for a #1 seed.  Jeff Reed, just do a google image search if you don't know who he is or why you should hate him?

Bob Knight Region:

(1)Mike Krzyzewski vs Jason Giambi
Giambi as cannon fodder?  Well it's because I don't think truly care enough about him to hate him as much as they did 2-3 years ago.  To some degree you need to be a good enough player/coach in order for people to even bother disliking you.  The Jealousy component is a part of the hatred for everyone on this list.  Speaking of Jealousy.  Hatred of Coach K is pure jealousy.  Don't call me biased, he's a number seed. But really you can't back up your hate with any good reason here.  IT is all jealousy that he is such a good coach, that year after year he takes lesser talent further than your school takes blue chip NBA prospects.  If Coach K ever recruited the 1 and done guys he'd win more titles than John Wooden, easy.  But he's ties one hand behind his back to keep things fair.  You really should thank him.

Kyle Busch vs Joey Porter
I'll be honest, I don;t really know or care why someone who drives in circles should be hated, but I know from the research I did that he belongs.  If you like NASCAR you tell us why.  Joey Porter however needs to shut his mouth.  Someday he will get his, badly and I will laugh and laugh and laugh.  Even super-loyal Steelers fans have turned their backs on this jerk.

Shawne Merriman vs Roger Clemens
Battle of those who choke when it matters!
Who knew these two had so much in common?  Amazing the things you learn from the internets.  This boils down to which is more annoying: The Lights Out Dance or Sleeping with 15yo country musicians /  HAving all your kids name start with the letter K.

Manny Ramirez vs Shaquille O'Neal
Clown on Clown violence!
Two men who can't take anything seriously.  One is unemployed and the other wants to go back to a bad marriage (Kobe and Phil).  Either are arguable the best of their era at what they do.  Both still have much left to contribute to their sports, Shaq did drop 40+ the other night!  I have a hard time hating either of these guys, but I know I am in a very minority position there.   Actually of all the first round match-ups, this is one where I'd like to actually see these two guys in the same room together.

Peyton Manning vs Tony Stewart
Now, even I know why people hate Tony Stewart.  This guy has both a temper and a potty mouth!  Peyton however is unavoidable during football season.  I hate him, but loves the faces he makes when his team loses. Ah Peyton face, you make me want to hate the NASCAR guy more.

Tom Brady vs Bud Selig
Tom is just like Coach K, when it comes to hatred.  It is nothing but Jealousy.  He wins, he sleeps with and marries a supermodel, after dumping a super hot movie star.  He is good looking.  A great QB.  He is every boys dream of what they want to be when they grow up.  But because most of you ended up like Al Bundy, you hate Tom Brady.  Bud Selig on the other hand is singlehandedly responsible for steroids in baseball.  He created this mess, and has mishandled it from the start.  He continues to screw up and I can only hope for the sake of baseball that he leaves his job as commissioner as soon as possible.  Arrogant, over-paid screw-up.  You'd think a bank would have hired him away by now, he has all the qualification needed!

Rod Marinelli vs Tyrone Willingham
Horrible coach-off!  Maybe if these guys had switched jobs before their seasons began each one would have won a game.  <--- Best joke I ever told.  The good news here, is that someone will be a winner, and that the loser has something to be happy about.

(2)Terrell Owens vs Vince Carter
Arrogance vs arrogance.  But TO's is epic.  It's doing sit-ups in your driveway epic.  While poor Vince is just a show-off.  A Dunk over a French guy but won't win a gold medal.  Again Vince is on the edge of relevancy and hence why he gets cannon fodder status.

I only seeded the top 8.  The rest were thrown in randomly only making sure that 2 people from the same sport did not meet in the first round.   Yes I missed people, and yes there are some WTFs, but I did not too bad a job.  Send hate mail to me after you vote.