Sports from the point view from the guy that holds the clipboard for the guy that holds the clipboard.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Mock Madness '09: Most Hated's Suck 16

First off, a big thank you to With Leather for the link!  All I can do is say thanks and send over the three people, not including my wife, who read my blog that haven't been sent here by them.

Wow, did we get some upsets and some close calls.  I'll admit that maybe me seeding was a bit off.  Alright, way off.  I really thought some of these people were irrelevant and I nearly left them off my field altogether.   And I did get one of my dream Suck 16 match-ups.  Results posted on that lame site I've been using, because I can be lazy.  Let's get on with it.

(1)Bill Belichick vs Al Davis
Some may call this a passing of the torch, from one generation of Evil to the next.  Each has won three superbowls, each is mad in their own way.  One is past his prime, which makes him crazier and thus more hateable.  The other is listed as a cheater and will wear a hoodie of shame for the rest of his career.   This one has all the great dynamics in play: Young vs Old,  East Coast vs West Coast, Plain old dirty vs High Tech cheating.   I think the outcome is a foregone conclusion, but it's nice that BB has to crush Davis on his path to the title.

Drew Rosenhaus vs (2)Scott Boras
Battle of the sport destroying super agents!  One of my dream suck 16 matchups.  The only one that came to pass.  Again this may seem like a done deal, but let's look Drew's case for a moment.  He talked a young up and coming buffalo team into signing one of the most polarizing and chemistry destructive players in the history of the NFL.    And Scott has gotten his comeuppance this offseason.  He cost Jason Varitek at least $5M by turning down salary arbitration with the Red Sox, and the whole Manny debacle was actually funny.  Watching Drew's "bid against yourself" magic trick backfire was great.  He's obviously lost his touch.  But really, who am I kidding here?

Barry Bonds vs Stephon Marbury
Two men who's ego's define their entire lives.  Both hurt their careers and their legacies with their actions.  Both men were actually great players.  One cheated and the other is just a damn fool for not wanting to play under D'antoni's offense.   Starbury at least occasionally thinks of the children, while thinking of himself in the process.  The other blew his trip to cooperstown and STILL just can't admit that he took steroids.  Learning lessons from the mistakes of Pete Rose, you're doing it wrong!

Pacman vs (2)Matt Millen
What's the difference between Pacman and Matt Millen?  1.   What?  You aren't here for the lame puns?  My bad.  Anyway this is an interesting battle.  Both men are obviously over-rated, yet both were employed at the start of last season anyway.   Good news is that both are done hurting teams.  Bad news is that one is not done with strip clubs, and the other is not done annoying us on TV.

Michael Vick vs Isiah Thomas
I may be completely wrong about Vick.  Until I started talking to people about it recently I was convinced that someone would pick him up.  I figured decent QB's were too valuable and rare, and I also figured that I've seen every manner of criminal get a second chance in sports, see above.   Isiah however is still a juggernaut of both incompetence and arrogance.

Clay Bennett vs (2)Kobe Bryant
Kobe very nearly went down to Schilling, and Clay destroyed J-Roll, so could we have another big upset?  Truly, we should  Clay is a pure villain.  And Kobe actually does have things that make him tolerable.  He can play very well and his arrogance does not detract from his game.  He may be a Me First Ballhog, but he does love the game.  Still he's Kobe.  This is harder choice than I originally thought it would be.

Jason Giambi vs Roger Clemens
Throw in Pettit and Gay-roid, and we could have a final four of Yankee Steroid users!  Way to live up to the legacy of Joe Dimaggio and Lou Gehrig!   I'm putting my money on cinderella porn stache here.  I mean if only he were younger (say 15...) Clemens would be all over him.  Who looks better in pinstripes?  Who's roid rage is stronger?   Let me just toss in one very biasing reminder, Clemens injected his wife with steroids.

Bud Selig vs (2)Terrell Owens
We close out the Suck 16 with a clash of Titans.  Two giants of screwing things up.  Two men who get forgiven and forgiven despite all their misdeeds.  How either of these men is still employed is beyond all manner of comprehension.  There has to be someone the Dollar Store wouldn't even hire that could do either of their jobs either more effectively or with less controversy.  Did I mention that while I was unemployed last year I got rejected by the Dollar Store?  I'm just saying.

*Whew* that was difficult. We have definitely reach Major Asshole territory.  I have fixed the polls.  To see results go back to the round 2 page.

Edited due to horrible image placement.

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